Death is a very difficult subject for any human being and more so if it is the death of a loved one. Several times we get lost in the pain and sadness caused by mourning. In those difficult times we think that we will never be happy again, but life goes on, and we have to start living our life again with the same enthusiasm and energy as before without forgetting our loved one.
Follow the tips below to move forward after a big loss:
1. You have the right to have bad days: don’t feel bad because there are days that you feel sad or numb. This is normal. It's a process and it takes time. But when you have bad days, you must remember that good days will also come and that you must try to enjoy those good days more often.
2. You have the right to have good days: Don't feel bad if you feel like laughing, making jokes, or wanting to be happy. We have the misconception that when we lose a loved one, everything around us must be sadness, crying, and pain. This idea is wrong, however. We have to be very clear that we are still alive and that it is natural that we laugh and seek happiness. Because we are happy does not mean that we are disrespecting the memory of our loved one. Their life, and their death, will always be part of us.
3. Talk about your pain: Don't keep quiet. Expressing your feelings will help you vent and you'll feel less weight on your shoulders. We all have to vent once in a while.
4. Do not change your loved one: Remember that person as he or she was with his or her faults and virtues. Just because they are no longer in this earthly world, it doesn't mean that your relationship with that person had to be perfect. You may have feelings of anger or have some unresolved matter with that person. You can express these feelings alone or otherwise and as loudly as you need. Don't be left with repressed feelings; let them out of your body.
5. Always remember your loved one: Don't forget them. They were part of our lives, and they must remain so in our memories. Forgetting does not make it easier to move forward, so you must remember to accept that they are gone and that you should keep on walking.
6. Keep your way of life: Schedules, routines, habits, and customs are good allies. They bring us back to the reality of everyday life. You don't have to force it either. If you feel one day that you don't have the strength to do them, stop. There´s no problem. Tomorrow you'll have the strength. Gradually it all returns to normal. The departure of a loved one is a hard blow, yet unfortunately, it is the cycle of life and we must move on. You will gradually learn to live with their physical absence and remember them with happiness.
If you need more advice and support as you navigate moving on from the loss of a loved one, just remember that you are not alone. Seek help if you need it and there is no shame in that. Reach out to a Life Coach and begin your journey to healing.