I am the mother of a ten-year-old handsome boy, and I am divorced as of 4 years ago. I emigrated 2 years ago with my child, and the first 10 months, he didn´t see his father, only through video call, it was very hard for him, it was the first time he had to be far from his dad and his grandparents, he used to spend time with them every day, his dad and I had joint custody. Now, we were in a foreign place, starting again. I was living again the experience of being a single mom…
Let me tell you something else. My mom was a single mom with 2 children, my brother (younger than me) and myself. I remember how she worked really hard to feed us, to give us an education and to supply all our needs, but I watched how she suffered in silence, she didn´t have support. When I was a teenager I became like a friend for her, and sometimes she opened her heart and showed me her vulnerability, her pain, her anger, her sadness, her worries all those emotions so common in a single mom. I just listened, I didn´t have the skills to help her, I was just a girl, but I felt empathy for her deep inside me. I never forgot it. She used to fight every day, she felt alone, she didn´t know many things, she had fears, but she carried all of that by herself in silence doing what she could with the skills she had. She didn´t take care of herself, she just dedicated her life to her children. Does it sound familiar to you?
She didn´t listen to her body, she wasn´t aware of herself… She got breast cancer, she lived 3 years with this, it consumed her, she fought because of us, in the end she died and her biggest fear came true: She left alone her 2 children, 20 and 10 years old. Since that moment I raised my brother. So in this new adventure as a single mom myself, I remembered those hard days. But I realized I had skills she didn´t have. I could do it differently, and I said: “Yes… Carla you are a single mom in a foreign country but you have this and you can ask for help”.
I became a Lifecoach 5 years ago and for “a reason” most of my work has been with women, I say: I am here, you are not alone, ask for help, I have this and I want to share it with you, I understand what are you going through, yes you can, you will find answers, you will find the way, you will learn how to handle your emotions, you can have a different story, you still can find your dreams, you can still rise.
I have seen all the goodness life coaching can offer and I wish my mom would have had a coach, someone who could be beside her, helping her to see what she couldn´t, but it is what it is and for a purpose: Now I am.
Are you single mom?
Ask for help, you don´t have to do it alone.