“Losing a relationship hurts. But losing yourself in a relationship hurts longer.”

Being in a committed relationship is exciting! You finally connect with someone on so many levels. The chemistry is there, the communication is better than it’s ever been. Yet, we still find ourselves being more concerned with the “we” and “us”. Which then leads us to lose sight of ourselves and our goals.

Have no fear though! This is something that can be fixed through work and observance.

My motto for my relationship coaching and in my very own relationships is 1 +1 = 3.

**1 + 1 = 3 Write this down, get familiar with it, love it and accept it**

To explain this in an easy and understandable way, think of it like this. You are your own unique individual (1). You have your own goals, dreams, and ambitions. You are in a relationship with your partner. He/she is their own unique individual (1). They have their own goals, dreams, and ambitions as well! You both are unique individuals that just so happen to find each other attractive on all levels. YAY YOU! In dating, you are both joining forces as two individuals who are on the same track with relationship goals and outcomes (1).

That is how you get 1 + 1 = 3 !

When you think of your relationships in this way, you can remind yourself that you are your own individual who brings certain things to the table for your life and your life in the relationship. You love your partner for who they are and what they bring to the table, so stay true to yourself. Grow with each other.

Now do the work

To make sure you’re on the same page for 1 +1 = 3, ask yourself and your partner these questions and communicate your answers to each other.

Remember come from a place of understanding when listening to your partner. Make them feel like what they have to say is important, even if you don’t agree. You will have your chance to speak.

  • What are your personal values?
  • What are your goals for the relationship?
  • What are your concerns about the relationship?
  • What are your boundaries?
  • What can we try to change together to make this work?

Give these a go! Don’t be afraid to ask yourself or your partner these questions. You will feel a lot better in the end. Setting boundaries and observing personal values is a great way to set a strong foundation for a strong relationship. Especially if you want to make sure you don’t lose yourself! Remember, you both are unique individuals and bring a lot to the table! Keep yourself happy, the rest will follow.